It has been a week since I lost Baby at almost 7 weeks.
So much to share, but first I want to say, if you are currently pregnant in the midst of Coronavirus, my heart goes out to you. It’s a hard time to be pregnant. You will be okay.
If you have recently miscarried, my heart goes out to you. Take time to rest and grieve.
Where to begin… after years of trying, my husband and I finally conceived! I’m in my 40’s, so this has brought us to hope despite what has happened. I wanted to share some of the steps I took to get pregnant, in case it helps a 40+ beauty trying to conceive naturally.
Before my last birthday in December, I decided I had to step up my health game. Here are some of the actions I took, at the advice of my integrative health doctor:
- Soaked in 15 minutes of sunlight in the morning and at noon – through my East facing window or with a walk around the block
- Continued with my wonderful morning green smoothies, which now included l-arginine, maca powder, and turmeric
- Started taking DIM for estrogen balance
- Detoxed my liver with milk thistle and dandelion
- Received twice-monthly Acupuncture treatments
- Reduced my red wine intake to a glass every 3-4 days
I already took a prenatal, fish oil and other whole food, organic vitamins for health. The combination of all this seemed to work, and after taking 5 pregnancy tests, we were so excited to finally be pregnant!
I must admit, being pregnant felt great. Feeling the changes inside my body as my uterus stretched to grow this new life. I walked around with a tiny companion, a smile on my face and a twinkle in my step.
I told my community a week after we found out. Perhaps too early, but I’m an open book. So glad I did though because these same people have emotionally supported me through the miscarriage, making my path lighter.
More than likely the miscarriage was due to chromosomal abnormalities, but of course, it’s natural to wrack your brain wondering if anything I did might have caused it. I did feel the need to rest a few days before, I wish I had heeded this. I was also trying to keep coronavirus fears at bay, but I’m sure some seeped into my consciousness. This is a hard time to be pregnant. Lastly, I did some yoga which did not agree with my body. Next time around, I plan to limit my exercise to just walking and will be ultra-careful with everything.
The miscarriage started with light bleeding. I made it to my doctor’s office last Friday, after bypassing the coronavirus overburdened phone system. A sonogram and blood test confirmed that the baby was moving down the canal and getting ready to miscarry. I came home and rested. Light bleeding and cramps ensued.
Last Saturday, I went for a walk around the block and felt lightheaded. That afternoon after half an hour of non-stop contractions, the sack and baby came out. I wish I had been more informed and had thought through this a bit more, but once I saw the sack, I knew that I needed a proper burial for this precious young life.
It’s been more complicated than I expected. Due to the early stage of miscarriage, my doctor could not provide a fetal death certificate, though necessary for a cemetery burial.
I reached out to our parish priest who has been super helpful and found us a solution. Baby will be buried in a church crypt in NYC. I purchased the burial vessel from Heaven’s Gain.
Dear friend, thank you for listening to my story. My journey is not over. I feel at peace with all that has happened and feel blessed for having experienced this, despite the loss.
I will continue to pray and hope for our miracle baby.
Wishing you rainbow angels and healing. Hugs, friends.